I experienced something tonight that must have been some sort of anxiety attack. My heart was pounding, I felt sick, I was scared. I’m in grad school. I’m busier and under more pressure than I can remember. It’s crunch time. I have a paper looming over my head–my first seminar paper–and I’m feeling a bit crippled by it. I could also have slept more last night. Anyway, I can’t recall ever feeling so anxious. My boyfriend gave me a pep talk and when I hung up the phone I figured I’d probably burst into tears. Instead, I put the kettle on to boil some water and then sat in the middle of my living room, with my head buried in my hands, and I told God I trusted him and asked him to take the feeling away.
I got up, made some tea, and as I walked back to my room I was singing, force singing, “Daily walking close to thee, let it be, dear Lord, let it be.” (This song has come up a lot lately…)
I drank the tea and finished grading some papers. I barely noticed it, but when I was done, I had that Marley song in my head: Baby don’t worry about a thing, cause every little thing is going to be all right. I didn’t force myself to remember those words and that tune, it just played in the background of my mind, hardly noticeable.
